Q. I’ve always wanted to be a parent, but I’m single. Lately I’ve been praying about adopting a child, yet I keep wondering if it’s fair to the child. Can one person really provide all the emotional, spiritual, and practical support a child needs?
A: Your question reveals something beautiful—you’re already thinking like a parent. The fact that you’re wondering whether you can provide everything a child needs shows the kind of thoughtful, self-aware care that makes someone capable of raising a healthy child.
Let’s be honest about what you’re really asking: In a world that holds up the two-parent household as the gold standard—this is biblically, psychologically, and sociologically sound—is a single person able to do this well?
The Biblical Perspective
While the Bible is clear about the father/mother model for parenting as God’s ideal, it is remarkably loud about the responsibility of the entire faith community toward children (see Deut. 11:18, 19; Prov. 22:6; Mark 9:36, 37) and the vulnerable (see Deut. 15:7, 8, 11; Isa. 1:17; Acts 4:32-35).
Yes, the creation narrative presents Adam and Eve as the first humans to receive the injunction to be fruitful and multiply, and Proverbs depicts both father and mother offering instruction. Yet the Bible is also filled with single parents and unconventional families. Hagar raised Ishmael alone in the wilderness. Moses was raised by Pharaoh’s daughter—a single adoptive mother. Timothy’s faith was shaped primarily by his mother, Eunice, and grandmother, Lois, with his father apparently absent from the spiritual picture.
The African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” reflects biblical wisdom better than our modern nuclear family ideal. Throughout Scripture, orphans and widows—which would include single-parent households—aren’t told their situations are second-best. Instead, God repeatedly commands the community to surround them with support. James even defines pure religion as caring for orphans (James 1:27).
So biblically, the question isn’t whether you alone are sufficient. It’s whether you’re willing to raise a child within a web of relationships—extended family, church community, mentors, friends—who can provide the multiple adult voices, role models, and support systems every child needs, regardless of how many parents share their address.
Millions of children are being raised beautifully by single parents through a variety of circumstances.
The Psychological Reality
Psychologically, research gives us a more nuanced picture than cultural convention suggests. What matters most to child development isn’t the number of parents, as important as this may be. It’s the quality of attachment, consistency of care, and presence of positive adult relationships.
Children need secure attachment to at least one primary caregiver. They need predictability, emotional attunement, and someone who delights in them. They need to feel safe enough to explore the world, knowing they have a secure base to return to. Can one person provide this? Absolutely. Single parents do it every day, and many do it exceptionally well.
What psychology does confirm is that children benefit from multiple positive adult relationships. They thrive when they experience different temperaments, strengths, and ways of problem-solving. But these don’t all need to come from parents alone. An involved uncle, a consistent mentor from church, a committed trusted cousin, a stable coach or teacher—these relationships matter enormously.
The potential challenges for single adoptive parents are real but manageable: less backup when you’re exhausted, fewer financial resources, the weight of every decision falling on your shoulders. Adopted children often carry additional needs—processing loss, attachment challenges, and sometimes trauma. But here’s the thing: awareness of these challenges already puts you ahead. You’re not stumbling into this blindly.
The Sociological Context
Sociologically, it is important to acknowledge the advantages of the two-parent household. Yet single-parent households have existed across all cultures and eras. Currently millions of children are being raised beautifully by single parents through a variety of circumstances.
What correlates with better outcomes for children isn’t family structure alone—it’s economic stability, access to community support, and parental mental health capacity. A stressed, underresourced two-parent household doesn’t automatically produce better outcomes than a supported, stable single-parent home.
Don’t let fear of being “enough” paralyze you.
The social challenges you’ll face are real: potential judgment from others, practical logistics that are genuinely harder solo, and systems designed around two-parent assumptions. But society is also increasingly recognizing diverse family structures, and adoption agencies specifically recruit single adoptive parents because the need for stable homes far exceeds the supply.
So Can You Do This?
The truth is, God’s ideal is for every child to have a father and mother who are emotionally healthy, nurturing, and committed to each other and their child. More often than we care to admit, however, this is not reality.
So can one person provide everything? No—but neither can two parents. Every child needs more than their immediate household can offer. The question is whether you can provide enough—enough love, enough stability, enough self-awareness to build community around this child, enough resilience to handle the hard days, enough resources to meet their needs.
From what you’ve shared, you’re already doing the right thing: praying, reflecting, considering the child’s needs before your own desires. That’s exactly the posture that makes someone ready.
If you proceed, do it with your eyes wide open. Build your support network now. Ensure your financial house is reasonably in order. Connect with other single adoptive parents. Find a faith community that will genuinely embrace you both.
Don’t let fear of being “enough” paralyze you. Somewhere there’s a child who needs exactly what you have to offer—one deeply committed, thoughtful parent who’s willing to build a village around them. That might just be enough and then some. You will continue in our prayers as you allow God to lead you to be a blessing to a child in need.
AUTHORS
Willie Oliver, PhD, CFLE, an ordained minister, pastoral counselor, family sociologist, and certified family life educator, is director of the Department of Family Ministries at the world headquarters of the Seventh-day Adventist Church
Elaine Oliver, PhD, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, CFLE, a licensed clinical professional counselor, counseling psychologist, educational psychologist and certified family life educator, is associate director for the Department of Family Ministries at the world headquarters of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
The original version of this story was published on Adventist Review on April 2026.